I’m happy to be associated with folks who labor in life-affirming ministry. It’s been a privilege and an honor to get to know many of the dedicated women and men who are committed to this work.
It’s been wonderful to take part in supporting women who face unplanned pregnancies, helping them gain the hope, confidence, and resources they need in order to choose life for their unborn children.
It’s been a special honor to help post-abortive women find healing in Christ.
Pregnancy help ministry is close to the heart of God.
To rescue His beloved preborn image-bearers, we reach out with compassion to help their distressed mothers and fathers.
We listen without judgment. We offer practical care as well as the bond of friendship.
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Yet we often find ourselves in the crosshairs of those who take exception to our work—those who insist that we should be doing so much more if we truly care about those we serve.
Recognizing the great effectiveness of life-affirming ministry, the high satisfaction rates we get from our clients, and, more than anything else, God’s heart toward the preborn and their mothers, we may be tempted to get defensive about the verbal attacks that come our way.
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It can be tiring to be repeatedly, unfairly, harshly lumped in with extremists.
But as things heat up after the Supreme Court leak and its emotional aftermath, let’s not forget that it is critical for us to continue to keep our focus Jesus-centered rather than issue-centered.
Unfortunately, I’ve observed pro-life people—folks who think of themselves as Christians, no less—display impatience, irritability, and downright rudeness in their interactions with other people (Christian and non-Christian), especially on social media.
It’s easy to hide behind a screen and say things you would never say in person. It’s easy to hurl insults at people with whom we disagree.
It’s tempting to want to get back at people who hurt us and whose position is contrary to ours.
I’m not suggesting for a moment that we compromise our convictions, because that is not an option. We are “all-in” because we know what God calls us to do.
“Provide justice for the needy and the fatherless; uphold the rights of the oppressed and the destitute. Rescue the poor and needy; save them from the power of the wicked.” – Psalm 82:3-4.
How we do the work, however, says a lot about us to those who observe our responses in emotionally charged situations.
The tension in which we must live is that of holding onto our convictions while also exercising Christ-like long-suffering and compassion.
One way we can do this is by disciplining ourselves to listen to people with whom we disagree. Just as we do with our clients, we can ask open-ended questions to enhance dialogue.
For example, if someone states their argument as to why they think abortion should be a woman’s right, rather than simply telling them they are wrong, we can ask how they arrived at that conclusion.
We can frame our responses with phrases like, “Tell me more about why you feel that way,” or, “It sounds like you feel very strongly about this. Can you tell me how you came to this conclusion?”
Finding out a person’s story is an important step to understanding why they think the way they do.
If our goal is to prove to people that abortion is wrong, we may never have the opportunity to connect with their heart.
If our goal is to love, we may have the chance to share truth when the door opens.
It’s worth asking ourselves—what’s more important? Being right, or being loving?
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When we engage with friends or family members or community members who disagree with us, what kind of taste do we leave in their mouths?
I read the following quote by David Whyte in a blog post by Steve Smith,
“Friendship is not about being right. Community is not rooted in the affinity where everyone believes the same thing. It is not about having the same political views and sharing the same doctrine…the soul of friendships will shrivel and die unless we practice tolerance and mercy with one another.”
We need to show tolerance and mercy to others—even those who are in favor of abortion.
I knew a preacher who often said, “We need to be winsome in order to win some.”
He had a good point. It may be our winsomeness—our tolerance and mercy—that is the game changer for a pro-abortion person.
And even if they don’t change their mind, we’ve spread the aroma of Christ in their life—instead of something more noxious.
Let’s stand firm on our convictions about life while loving those who disagree with us.
In a world that is quick to hurl vitriol at others, may our words and actions draw others toward Christ.
