Three years ago, I found myself in my thirties; I was watching everyone around me celebrate Mother's Day.
I watched my beautiful mother honoring my dedicated sister on Mother’s Day year in and year out, and I felt the emptiness of my home and heart on the issue. I felt bitterness and sorrow. I always argued ‘dog moms’ are of equal importance on this day. I just felt a longing to mother a child.
I wanted kids but it never felt like the right time or situation.
I had no idea what I was missing, but I knew it was something I aspired to have.
[Click here to subscribe to Pregnancy Help News!]
When I got pregnant, I was hesitant because of my rocky relationship, and I was so used to traveling and frivolous spending.
God put me on this path and I’m so thankful I stayed on it.
Since becoming a mom, I see everything differently. I mean everything is different.
I used to take eight selfies after getting ready for work for an hour, worried I didn’t look pretty.
Since having my children, I often realize I've gone the entire day without looking in a mirror at all. I don’t sweat the smaller things.
Being Mom isn't just about dressing up your babies in ruffly outfits and cuddling. It’s not about buying them nice things or going on trips as a family.
Motherhood at its core is loving someone else so much, you put their needs before your own, selflessly. Giving yourself entirely.
Last night for example I made myself two separate snacks, both stolen by my daughter and eaten in front of me.
As she ripped my carefully created treat into pieces and scattered it carelessly on the ground to be eaten by the dog, only taking a few bites, it dawned on me; I would gladly starve to death so that she could be full and carefree every day if I had to.
Mother’s Day isn’t about gifts or glamour. Its honoring the woman who gives herself completely. The woman who gets up first and goes to bed last. The woman who cleans those things you don’t realize even needed cleaning because she works behind the scenes, like the oven and shower, and does all the things people don’t see. It’s about thanking her for the thankless jobs she does.
I have two amazing babies, Benson who is seven months and Evelyn who is two, and it’s wild. One starts crying and they set each other off like car alarms. But they giggle and hug a lot too.
I now have two beautiful stepchildren too, one living here full time and the other over half the time.
It’s an honor to be able to be in this role in their lives.
I don’t have to help with their homework when they are frustrated or pep talk them when they cry; I GET TO.
I get to stand beside their father in a supportive role and nurture these amazing kids in ways no one else does. I get to be their friend and support parent.
My stepson Connor is newly driving, and I stay up worried sick until he’s home. He hugs me tightly and tells me he loves me. He calls me pretty and thanks me when I fold his laundry.
Kylee is 12. She loves fashion and is so witty. When she’s not making fun of my Dollar Store faux Birkenstocks, she’s giving me skincare tips, and we binge Gilmore Girls together.
Becoming a mom has done more than give me children, it’s given me a mother’s heart. I don’t just look after my own children at the park, I look after all children.
Tweet This: Becoming a mom has done more than give me children, it’s given me a mother’s heart.
I was recently given the opportunity to breastfeed another baby whose mother struggled to latch. It was an honor that brought me to tears to help.
Motherhood isn’t about title, it’s a lifestyle. And it’s hard. My needs come last.
But it’s also an honor and a privilege I almost didn't have. I do not take it for granted because until recently I had no children at all.
I now have four kids in my home most of the time. My dinner table is full, my car is a mess and my calendar is packed. I enjoy every part of this life, from painful contractions, to arguing about chores, to even potty-training mishaps.
My house is full, but my heart is just bursting. My cup runneth over with laughter and love.
I also look at my mom through new eyes. Kinder eyes.
And I apologize often. I know now the ways I hurt her accidentally and it’s strengthened our relationship as she supports me in this season of my life.
My fiancé Ben and I say to one another at least once a day how much we love this life we have created.
Get married, have kids, trust in God.
Tweet This: Get married, have kids, trust in God.
I did these things out of order, as I’ll be wed this September, but it’s truly shown me the meaning of life.
Ben has brought me my children and shown me the Lord. Our relationship is so goofy and fun. When I see him in our children's features, I feel grateful.
These little hands I hold, I am reminded of God and all His splendor. Children are such a gift.
Watching all four of my children interact is the true meaning of happiness.
For Mother’s Day, I don’t want any gifts. In true mother fashion, I actually don’t want for anything. I just want the quality time and the ongoing bonding of my family.
Someday, when I’m gone, I hope they will lean on each other and speak of me fondly because I am who I am because they exist, and for that I’m grateful.
Editor's note: Elizabeth reversed a chemical abortion with the Abortion Pill Reversal (APR) protocol. She shares her story in hopes of inspiring other moms and raising awareness of APR. Heartbeat International manages the Abortion Pill Rescue® Network (APRN) and Pregnancy Help News. Heartbeat is currently the subject of two lawsuits brought by state AGs concerning sharing information about APR.
