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Sunday, 19 November 2017
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Adoption: A Profile in Courage Lightstock stock image

Adoption: A Profile in Courage

The other night in Farmington, NM, at an event for Grace Place for Women, I got to see what courage looks like. Courage, real courage, is glorious to behold.

Her name isn’t vitalshe may not want it spread across the internetbut a young lady told her story of coming to Grace Place and of the internal struggles she faced as she considered her pregnancy.

Ultimately, she chose adoption; a selfless decision. But any of us who have worked with or spent time with birth moms knows this is no easy choice. There are so many conflicting feeling and emotions; many, who choose adoption later change their minds and decide to parent.

Tweet This: She began the road to #adoption, but would she finish? #prolife

She began the road to adoption, but would she finish?

For a moment, let’s step back and look at the pregnancy help community. It’s no secret that we are not as successful as we’d like in presenting adoption. This isn’t to say every single woman facing a pregnancy should place her child in an adoptive home.

But let’s be real. We offer parenting classes (good!), we offer support for single moms (good, too) but overall, we can present adoption more effectively. 

Yet if we are going to present a young woman facing an unplanned pregnancy with all her options, adoption must be part of our presentation. Must. Sure, many of our clients will say, “Oh, I could never do that,” and we should prepare ourselves for this response.

Instead of skulking back and wondering why we ever brought up the topic, we’ve got to step forward and ask her for her pros and cons on this and other options, then give accurate portrayals of each. In the process we must—in some way—share that adoption is not just for those who would be “bad” parents, but is for those with the courage to say, “I’ll be a great parent, when the time is right.”

Tweet This: #Adoption is a tremendous way to provide a child with a two-parent home.

And adoption is a tremendous way to provide a child with a two-parent home. Every study in the world tells us that a child has an infinitely better chance economically, educationally and spiritually in a two-parent home. This isn’t to say there are not exceptions, but two parents are—almost every time—better than one.

The other night, I saw reality and honesty from this client who stood in front of hundreds to tell her story.

One line of hers captured me. “When I looked at my little boy next to me in my bed, everything in me wanted to take him home with me.”

Listening to her speak, I knew she could be an outstanding parent. She is bright, self-aware and well-educated. She also has a heart for God, which makes all the difference. She—no doubtcould be a client telling her story of how the center brought her through and how she and her son are doing amazingly well and adjusting to their new life together.

Next however, she said this: “But I knew this wasn’t God’s plan. God wanted me to place him with the couple I chose, and I knew what I had to do.”

This is what courage looks like. She chose the difficult path, the path of giving someone else the gift of life. Even when her heart begged her to keep her child with her, she chose God’s direction.

Today, her son is three. She receives regular communication with her son’s parents and relishes every picture and letter. Seeing the joy on her face showed me she made the best choice for her, for her child, and for two happy parents.

Her story also reminded me once again that it is time for adoption to make a comeback in our culture.  Adoption is not the only choice. And it may not be the “right” choice for some. But it is a choice which deserves a hearing.

Let’s ask ourselves, “Is there something we can do better as we present adoption?” This isn’t to say any of us are doing a poor job, but can we do better?

If so, let’s give it a try. Perhaps our efforts may lead to more two-parent homes, more new parents . . . and more birth moms telling their stories of faith, and joy . . .  from a courageous journey of following the Lord’s leading.

Kirk Walden

Kirk Walden is a senior writer with Pregnancy Help News, an Advancement Specialist with Heartbeat International and author of The Wall. He also blogs at www.kirkwalden.com. You can find him on Facebook, Twitter (@KirkWalden) and he is a new Instagrammer (kirkwalden). For banquet speaking engagements, contact Gloria Leyda at Ambassador Speakers Bureau.

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