I had just preached a Sunday morning message at a local church across town. My message, based on Psalm 88, included a specifically pro-life perspective.
After the service, as I was going out to my car, a woman approached me in the parking lot. She told me that what I had to say about protecting the unborn had caught her attention, but then she said something I didn’t expect to hear at all.
“I’m beyond pro-choice,” she explained. “I believe women who are incapable of raising a child should not even be allowed to have their babies.”
In that moment, I faced a choice myself.
Would I set this woman straight about God’s commands to value all human life?
Or would I listen to her story and try to discover what painful events in her life caused her to take such an extreme view?
“Wow,” I said, “that’s quite a strong point of view. Tell me more about how you came to that conclusion.”
She shared a bit more, but then she had to leave. Though the conversation was brief, I think more than anything, the moment was a test for me.
It’s the same test we are all facing with the recent overturning of Roe v. Wade.
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It’s certainly appropriate for pro-life people to celebrate with great joy after enduring the long-time state of affairs of the legal killing of preborn children in our nation.
Yes, it is right and fitting for us to celebrate—but as we rejoice, let’s keep in mind what folks on the other side of the issue are feeling right now.
(When I say, “on the other side,” I’m not speaking of extremists who are spewing hateful threats and committing acts of vandalism; rather, I’m referring to those among the general population who are pro-abortion.)
Think of the young woman who has never known a world without legal abortion. She has been told it is a women’s rights issue and something she should fight for.
She believes that with this change, a fundamental right has been taken from her.
Very likely, she feels angry about that, irritated about our joy, and maybe scared as well.
Are her feelings legitimate?
Let me answer that question with a story.
Nearly 39 years ago, my groom and I stood listening to the minister’s exhortations to us regarding marriage. Glenn gave us some sage advice that day which we’ve never forgotten.
“Remember this,” Glenn said. “Feelings are neither right nor wrong; they’re just feelings. It’s what you do with them that matters.”
That advice proved helpful many times over the years. When emotions flared, we tried to remember to validate one another’s feelings, whether or not we agreed on an issue.
I think of Glenn’s wisdom today as many people react with negative emotions to the overturning of Roe v. Wade.
Here’s the thing: abortion advocates are incorrect in their thinking about abortion as a right that should be available to women.
Abortion is the taking of an innocent life of an image-bearer of God, something He expressly forbids. The most vulnerable party in an unplanned pregnancy is not the woman, but her unborn child.
Having said that, abortion advocates are people with feelings. Their thoughts may be out of line with God’s word, but their feelings can still be validated—and validating someone’s feelings is part of compassion.
We’re already trained in the art of asking open-ended questions. In this cultural moment, we need to put those skills to use and engage on a heart level with young women who are concerned about the times.
When we encounter a pro-abortion client or have a conversation outside of our center with a pro-abortion community member, let’s be proactive in demonstrating that we are not against them.
That we have no interest in being their enemy. That, although we do not see abortion as a legitimate right, we take no delight in the idea of taking someone’s right away from them.
We don’t agree with their views, but we are for pro-abortion people because they are people created in the image of God and people for whom Jesus laid down His life.
By all means, let’s celebrate—but let’s be carefully aware of the feelings of those whom we serve.
They need our compassion and empathy now more than ever.
