This was going to be an unusual session, I thought to myself, as I took a call from a young man for his girlfriend and him.
He said he'd found our pregnancy center online, looking for pregnancy help where abortions weren't done.
The day of the appointment, a 24-year-old woman nearly covered in tattoos sat down with me along with her boyfriend, the one who'd made the appointment. Before taking a test to confirm her pregnancy, I asked her some background questions. Most pregnancy centers do this in order to try to help the whole person, not just do pregnancy tests and hand out baby clothes.
Lisa (not her real name) and her boyfriend lived together. She was an alcoholic but had quit drinking about six months earlier, before she realized she was pregnant. She was now determined to keep this baby. Lisa didn't go to church but believed in God.
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When I asked if she’d had any other abortions, she said yes.
How many, I asked.
"I don't remember, at least four or five," she said.
Her boyfriend was the father of the last two aborted children. He'd been worried that she would go and abort this one too, which was why he made the appointment so they could come in together and get an ultrasound.
"See, she's pro-"choice"; I'm pro-life,” he said.
“I'll tell you why I'm pro-life,” Lisa’s boyfriend continued. “I was adopted, and I always think, my birth mother could easily have aborted me ... Maybe some people even said she should have ... Well, if she didn't let me be adopted, I wouldn't be here today."
He had a few tears in his eyes as he said this, and his determination to be a father to this new baby was sincere.
He asked if a baby can be born "ok" after numerous abortions.
It's certainly possible, and has happened many times, as I explained, but abortion - especially repeat abortions - does increase various risks.
It seemed incredible to me that his girlfriend could have undergone so many abortions and still say she had no regrets.
Surprisingly, she hadn't had any physical effects of the abortions, although it was, of course, too early to tell how the current pregnancy would proceed.
Lisa said she'd been afraid to have a baby when she was still drinking so much. She had also been cutting herself and pointed out knife marks on her arms (I'd noticed the marks, but assumed they came from a cat or dog).
As I often do, I asked if she’d been shown an ultrasound before any of her abortions.
No, she had not .... The usual answer I hear from post-abortive women.
After showing Lisa some fetal models, talking about nutrition and pre-natal vitamins and, of course, avoiding all alcohol, I asked her if she'd like to see her ultrasound.
She said, "okay," without much enthusiasm, which made me wonder if she would show up for the appointment the next day.
Her boyfriend immediately said, "Oh that's going to be so cool."
Naturally, it's not a good sign if a mom doesn't show up for her ultrasound appointment.
She could be avoiding the truth she knows could change her mind about an abortion decision. She might have already gone and had an abortion.
We usually don't know, only finding out from the ultrasound office at the nearby Catholic hospital that the client didn't show up and didn't return phone calls.
So, when I called Lisa the day after her ultrasound appointment and left a message and she didn't call back, I wasn't shocked. I figured she'd panicked and didn't go, and just prayed that she hadn't had an abortion.
I tried her again the next day and she answered the phone right away.
"I just wanted to see how you are and how the ultrasound went," I said.
Unexpectedly, I heard, "It was AMAZING!"
Unlike during our in-person session, there was so much enthusiasm and awe in her voice.
"I just had no idea what that would be like," she said, and started pouring out her feelings about her past abortions, now realizing - yes - the unborn child is truly a baby, even at the early stages.
Lisa was actually excited now about being pregnant.
I invited her to come back in a few weeks for some maternity clothes. We talked about post-abortion healing resources.
When she began crying, I said the only thing I know that helps mitigate those feelings of guilt and regret.
First, God is waiting to forgive you.
Second, when you start to feel bad about those choices, remember that you were not shown your ultrasound intentionally.
The abortionists don't want to lose abortion business from moms seeing their live son or daughter with a beating heart on the screen, having the natural maternal instinct kick in, and starting to love and protect that child from that very instant.
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With all those abortions Lisa had had, she was purposely denied seeing the very proof of the humanity of her baby. This is precisely what the 'choice' should be about - making an informed decision - and also in Lisa’s case what would most likely have eliminated the possibility of abortion altogether.
Our nation’s largest abortion business’s motto is, "Choice, No Matter What." To me, it really is, "Deception, No Matter What."
Please pray for a healthy pregnancy for Lisa, who is due in early January.
