“Did I really do that?” We’ve all had that moment of disassociation from the “you” who did it and the “you” who knew better. And sometimes we are left to live in that space between “what I did” and “who I really am.” Regret can be a powerful force and can keep you paralyzed in your past. The debilitating effects work to keep you from the fullness of your future.
Abortion proponents estimate that 73 million lives will be ended worldwide by abortion this year and somewhere between 46 million – 58 million will be completed with chemical abortion. No one really knows how much mifepristone is sold and distributed to women around the world as only a small portion is even reported. We do know, however, that many women regret their abortions and often that regret sets in right away. Having abortion drugs readily available, delivered to doorsteps, without medical oversight or assessment for coercion, will most surely only increase the amount of regret.
With these large numbers of women obtaining abortion every day throughout the world, there is also an abundance of long-lasting remorse living in their hearts. Every day at the Abortion Pill Rescue Network, we speak with women who are having the most painful regret possible. They have put their children’s lives at risk and desperately want to save them.
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Fear and self-doubt are arrows commonly aimed at the woman making a pregnancy choice. Fear holds us hostage, making it challenging to move left, right, forward or backward. It causes us to make decisions we would have never made with a clear heart and mind.
Those of us who have sat with women making pregnancy choices have understanding of that deep regret and the long-lasting shame that can accompany it when women choose abortion. I’ve spoken with women many years after an abortion and comforted them as they wept for the child they never got to meet on this side of heaven.
No matter our level of education, the counsel we’ve sought from trusted sources, and the solid belief we are making the right decision, we’ve all made a wrong turn a time or two. Those wrong turns produce regret, guilt, shame, and enduring sorrow.
Regret is when you feel badly about what you did. Shame is when you feel bad about who you are. And especially in an abortion choice, they work well together to make us truly believe that what we did is who we are.
“At the time, his father was pushing for an abortion, but as soon as I took that first pill I knew in my heart it was the wrong decision”.
-APR client, January 2024
One mistake – big or small – can play on repeat in thoughts and therefore in actions. All of us have regrets, short of those with a personality disorder disallowing regret. And there is no one who walks in perfection except for Jesus.
There is a level of regret that is good and causes us to aim our lives in the right direction when making future choices. Will I ever have the haircut I had at age 16? No. Will I ever behave that way again? I certainly hope not. Regret can be a gift from God.
But when we remain chained to mistakes and missteps and re-rehearse past failures over years it is not healthy.
“I got very scared when I found out I was finally pregnant. F.O.M.O. (Fear of missing out) and other “what if’s” took over my mind. Once I took the first pill, I was devastated. I was so scared! I had changed my mind. So, I went searching on google and found this site.”
-APR client, January 2024
As chemical abortion continues to skyrocket, the CDC reports a coinciding decline in mental health for young women in our country. Could these be connected?
Tweet This: Chemical abortion is skyrocketing & the CDC reports a coinciding decline in mental health for young women. Could these be connected?
Nearly 3 in 5 teen girls (57%) said they felt "persistently sad or hopeless." That's the highest rate in a decade. And 30% said they have seriously considered dying by suicide — a percentage that's risen by nearly 60% over the past 10 years. The CDC survey found that more than 1 in 5 such youth — 22% — had attempted suicide within the past year. Researchers were struck by how much more poorly young women were faring than young men.
But is a person’s worst decision their true identity?
Swirling in a cycle of guilt and shame keeps us from our destinies- it can be truly paralyzing. Those without belief in God can only look to this world for their hope. But the Christian can look up and experience real hope, even after making a poor decision.
"There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus …" Romans 8:1
Supporting those we serve to make the best decisions possible:
- Find good counsel, information, and support.
It’s always good to avoid making decisions in isolation or with poor counsel. Seeking the sound wisdom and loving support of others is needed when facing a tough decision. Deciding when you are alone or in pain, sets you up for poor choices.
“Where there is no counsel, the people fail: But in the multitude of counselors there is safety.”
Proverbs 11:14 - Rest first, don’t rush to decide.
It’s never good to make a big decision when you are tired. When we are physically, emotionally, or spiritually tired, we lose clarity in exhaustion.
“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28 - Avoid immediate gratification. Look to the future.
Often when weighing choices, there is a sense of an immediate reward if we hurry to decide. One choice can feel right in the moment, but we don’t have clarity of the long-term ramifications of what the impulsive decision will lead to.
“But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength…” Isaiah 40:31
Today we pray for all who are considering pregnancy options, that they would have the strength to seek the wisdom, support, and help they need to make the best decisions for everyone involved in the pregnancy. And we pray for those who live with the pain of regret and shame of an abortion decision that they might find His hope and healing today.
I want to thank each and every one of you from Abortion Pill Reversal for your help, love and prayers. When I thought abortion was the only way, I was in a dark place. I prayed and God brought me to your site. So many ads on Google claimed abortion reversal was impossible, but my handsome son is a living testimony that all things are possible, and life is the answer. I am beyond grateful to be his mother and to cherish him every day.
Thank you all at Abortion Pill Reversal for giving us both a second chance at life, as mother and son. Please never let your enemies win, abortion can be reversed, and babies are such a gift, they are never mistakes. Even if we feel that way at first.
-APR Client, June 2024
Editor's note: Heartbeat International manages the Abortion Pill Rescue® Network (APRN) and Pregnancy Help News. Heartbeat along with a handfull of pregnancy help organizations is the subject of lawsuits brought by the AGs of California and New York over promotion of the APR protocol.
