Those of us who work at pregnancy centers know all too well the many risks involved in abortion, and the fact that abortion providers routinely withhold this information from their clients.
A few years ago, at the center where I serve, we had a 20-something woman come in for a pregnancy test. Lauren* stated outright that if she was pregnant, she planned to abort.
After confirming that Lauren was pregnant, my co-worker Janet* and I sat down with her. It was Lauren’s first pregnancy. She had plans, and her plans didn’t include being a mom; not now, anyway. She was in school and working, and her job had her on a solid career path.
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I knew Janet had had an abortion in her past, but I didn’t know her full story. She asked Lauren a few questions about the baby’s father, Lauren’s parents, and siblings.
Then Janet asked a great question: Where did Lauren see herself in 5-7 years?
Lauren confidently described finishing her master’s degree, climbing the corporate ladder, buying a house. And personally? She said she and her boyfriend would probably get married, and maybe have a child at that point.
We took out the fetal models and showed Lauren the size of her then-7-week -old unborn baby. While Lauren gazed at the plastic babies and read about heartbeats, brain waves, tiny fingers and toes, Janet shared her story.
“About 30 years ago I was exactly where you are,” Janet said. “I was 23, had a good job and a great boyfriend, and I figured I had plenty of time to have a baby or a few babies later on.”
“I told myself it wasn’t the right time, and I went to Planned Parenthood,” Janet told her. “They didn’t show me these fetal models, and they said a baby would complicate my life and interrupt my plans to have a high paying job.”
“I had the abortion that day,” Janet said. “My boyfriend and I went on to get married about two years later, and we assumed we’d start a family.”
Lauren and I listened as Janet continued.
“That first year I had two miscarriages,” Janet said. “Over the next few years, I had five more miscarriages.”
“I never did have a baby,” she explained. “And so, the baby I aborted was the only child I would ever have.”
“I wish those people that day at the abortion clinic told me that future miscarriage, even infertility, are risks from having an abortion,” said Janet. “They didn’t. In their rush to sell me an abortion, they only emphasized the supposed ‘benefits;’ not having the responsibility or expense of a baby, not having my career interrupted.”
Tweet This: I wish the people at the abortion facility had told me the risks of having an abortion. They didn't.
Janet cautioned this young mother that there was no guarantee she would conceive another child, and she could be less assured of doing so if she chose to abort this one. I felt tears forming in my eyes as Janet told her heart wrenching story and realized the pain it took for her to share it in the hope of preventing the same tragedy for someone else.
Janet and her husband still miss that baby and regret their decision, and still deal with anger over the deceptions of Planned Parenthood.
Another thing that wasn’t shared with Janet on the day of her abortion was an ultrasound, showing the self-evident truth of the humanity of the unborn baby.
We told Lauren that it was crucial that she see her ultrasound before making a decision, and that refusing to show one to her was a big part of an abortionist’s strategy to dehumanize the child, and keep the natural maternal instinct from setting in.
Lauren accepted our referral for a free ultrasound the next day, and, probably in large part due to Janet’s testimony, this mother went on to keep her baby.
When I’m talking with pregnant women, I now often ask that same question Janet asked: Where do you see yourself in 5-7 years?
Many young women assume they can ‘get rid of’ this baby now and then just automatically have another baby later whenever they feel it’s the “ideal” time. It doesn’t always happen like that.
Editor's note: The parties' names have been changed to preserve anonymity.
