You’ve wrapped up the past year, gathering all the stats you need to share with your donors. You’ve reflected on what went well and what could improve in how you serve your clients.
One thing is for sure—you’d like to see even more lives saved next year. More innocent children rescued. More of God’s most vulnerable image-bearers protected.
Your work is critical. Lives are at stake. The emotional and physical well-being of distressed women is on the line. Not to mention the young dads who struggle with their own issues.
But there’s another person in the picture of your pro-life ministry whom you may forget about from time to time. Maybe even a lot of the time.
That person is you.
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If you’re anything like me, you’re tempted to approach 2024 with a “try harder” approach. Accomplish more goals. Grow the ministry. Get bigger and better.
Save. More. Lives.
It’s okay to set goals, make plans, and execute strategies in your ministry—but when “doing” takes priority over “being,” it may be time to reevaluate and try a different approach.
I’ve headed into various new years in the past with lists of things I wished to accomplish in different areas of my life. I’ve put stickies on my bathroom mirror and revisited my plans from time to time.
I’ve revised everything from prayer lists to ministry to-dos.
But this year, I find myself gently led toward a fresh approach to life, including ministry.
This year, I’d like to try softer instead of harder. And I invite you to join me in holistic pro-life living.
If we’re consistent in our life-affirming ethic, we show value to all people, right? We value people’s bodies, born or unborn. We avoid prejudice, judgment, or calloused carelessness toward others.
Following that logic, then, we must practice self-care. We must value our own selves, including our bodies, emotions, thought life—everything that makes us who we are.
Tweet This: If we’re consistent in our life-affirming ethic, we show value to all people. Following that logic, then, we must practice self-care.
So often, to get stuff done in ministry, I’ve pushed myself and ignored my own needs. I disconnect from the embodied self whom God created me to be.
I discount emotional distress, physical weariness, and spiritual dryness because, well, somehow, I don’t count. What counts is the ministry.
Perhaps you can relate.
Here’s the thing: we can’t treat ourselves poorly, yet expect to overflow with compassion toward others.
Jesus said the second greatest commandment after loving the Lord our God is, “Love your neighbor as yourself (Matt. 22:39).”
Healthy self-love is the basis of loving others. Yet good self-care doesn’t necessarily come automatically.
I’m getting some help from a book titled Try Softer by Aundi Kolber, and from the Holy Spirit as He reminds me of God’s truths.
Trying softer means that in areas where you need healing, you’re willing to not rush that process. It means you’re willing to sit with your own story instead of disconnecting from it. It means becoming aware of physical symptoms in your body which give you clues about what you’re feeling in various circumstances.
Trying softer involves meditating on Scriptures which remind you of your status as God’s child and of His deep, boundless love for you. (That love is not dependent on how the ministry is doing, by the way.)
It means receiving the love of God not just intellectually, but actually feeling it in your heart. It means letting Him tenderly parent you.
Trying softer means setting healthy boundaries so you don’t wear yourself out accommodating others.
It means paying attention to the beautiful creation around you and the information your five senses give you about it. It’s being in the present moment, not straining ahead to the next to-do item.
Here’s a tough one for us Christians: trying softer means being kind to our bodies instead of treating them as a container separate from our “real” selves (a heretical notion called Gnosticism). God created us as embodied beings. Even in eternity, we will have bodies.
Think of how much we value the bodies of the unborn we work to rescue. Surely your body is also worthy of compassion.
Your emotions are worthy, as well. When you try softer, you learn to handle difficult feelings with curiosity and compassion instead of judgment. You learn to live an integrated life, no longer shame-based or hiding in denial.
As you head into 2024 and think about desired outcomes for your personal life and your ministry, consider trying softer instead of harder.
Slow down. Make space. Notice the world around you—the warm water running over your hands, the sound of a bird chirping, the fragrance of a cup of herbal tea.
Breathe deep. Relax your shoulders. Soak in a short passage of the Word of God. Indulge in a liturgy reading (Every Moment Holy is a lovely collection).
Cast your ministry burdens on the Lord (1 Pet. 5:7). Believe it or not, He cares about the unborn more than you do!
Your ministry is really His, isn’t it?
Release it to Him. Accept His love for you personally. Treat yourself with compassionate care. Follow God’s gentle leading rather than pushing yourself.
In 2024, don’t try harder. Trust God with ministry outcomes and be kind to yourself.
I’ll bet it’s going to be a great year.
