To adequately promote life-affirming ideas, precision and accuracy in language choices calls for evaluation for raising awareness. We could often be more careful with our choice of phrases. Words have meaning and that meaning can evolve over time. An update of our language is to help foster our life-affirming message for the post-Roe world.
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Here’s a short guide to 12 ways to phrase things better – “say this, not that” when it comes to pro-life topics:
- Say “unexpected pregnancy,” not unplanned/unwanted pregnancy.
- Not every woman considering an abortion had an unplanned pregnancy. Sometimes the pregnancy was planned and then a change in her circumstances or a prenatal diagnosis has caused an unexpected abortion vulnerability. Further, the term ‘unwanted’ connotes that the child is not wanted, where the mom simply may not be ready to parent.
- Say you are making abortion “unwanted or restricted,” not unnecessary.
- Abortion is already unnecessary since women have access to support, resources, and alternative options. What we are trying to do is help them see that abortion is not what they actually want.
Tweet This: Abortion is already unnecessary since women have access to support, resources, and alternative options through pregnancy help.
- Say abortion “restrictions,” not abortion bans.
- Abortion laws always have an exception for the woman’s life (which, depending on how you define abortion, may not even be needed), but categorizing abortion restrictions as a ban is both inaccurate and can scare women that erroneously believe an abortion ban means they can’t get intervention to save their life, treat an ectopic pregnancy, or treat a miscarriage.
- Say “difficult pregnancy/woman in crisis” not crisis pregnancy and refer to “pregnancy centers” or “pregnancy help centers,” not crisis pregnancy center.
- Crisis pregnancy uses the word crisis to modify the word pregnancy. This is a huge problem because pregnancy is never the crisis. We never want women to think that pregnancy is the bad thing or that having a baby is a crisis! Rather, it is the circumstances in her life that make her feel motherhood is too difficult. We can acknowledge her difficulties and her crisis situation without implying that her pregnancy itself is the problem.
- Say “mother,” not mother-to-be.
- So many people say, “I’m going to be a mom” or “I’m a mother-to-be.” But in fact, from the moment of conception, a child is already in existence and thus their mother is already a mother; now in the present, not just after a baby is born.
- Say “options counseling,” not counseling.
- It’s important not to exaggerate the services of pregnancy centers which do offer options counseling to women but usually do not offer professional mental health counseling. Using the word counseling without a modifier could give the false impression that licensed mental health is the norm. Options counseling is perfectly acceptable and often what allows pregnancy centers to operate for free for the women they serve. * “Consulting” is also an appropriate term.
- Say “sex-trafficked woman,” not prostitute.
- Prostitute is an outdated and derogatory term that has negative connotations and also seems to blame women for situations that often involve coercion and trafficking that were outside of their control.
- Say “woman who had an abortion,” not post-abortive woman.
- This is out of sensitivity to the abortion healing community, which shouldn’t be defined or modified by what they often consider to be their greatest mistake. A woman who had an abortion shouldn’t be defined as post-abortive her whole life.
- Say “baby with Down syndrome” not Down syndrome baby.
- This is part of using person-first language by not defining the person by their disability. Children, like people of any age, are humans first.
- Say “life-limiting diagnosis,” not fatal prenatal diagnosis/incompatible with life.
- No living child should be defined as incompatible with life! Where there is a heartbeat, there is hope. Children in the womb with a prenatal diagnosis are still alive. Even if their condition may result in their death, pregnancy should be carried to term or until the child has died in the womb of natural death. Even children with life-limiting conditions at birth should be evaluated at birth for possible misdiagnosis or overdiagnosis. When we assume a child’s condition is fatal, it can often result in omitted information to parents about possible treatments, as well as devalue the current living child in the womb.
- Say “placed for adoption,” not put up/give up for adoption.
- Put up for adoption came from the era of the orphan train when children were literally put up on a train platform to be claimed for adoption. This outdated system is not at all the way of modern adoptions, most of which are open or semi-open and undertaken by birth mothers as a choice. Yes, that choice is often painful, but also a meaningful, sacrificial choice for the sake of intentionally selecting good parents for her baby. It is not giving the child up, nor abandoning him or her, rather it is now often staying very much connected in his or her life.
- Say “birth mother,” not real mother.
- Sometimes people refer to the biological mother as the “real” mother. Both the birth mother and an adoptive or foster momma are “real” and valuable in a child’s life. To respect all parties, no one person should be considered “real,” as its opposite is “fake” and all who care for the child are invaluable.
- When asked, “Do you want a boy or girl?” say “either would be great,” not, “all I want is a healthy baby.”
- This is an understandable response. Of course, we would like our babies to be healthy and accept whichever sex we are given. However, saying this can imply that unhealthy babies don’t “count.” Many babies have pre-natal conditions, birth defects, prematurity, or other issues, and though we don’t want these to happen, we certainly don’t want to devalue children who are not perfectly healthy. It’s that attitude that can lead to prenatal diagnosis abortions.
- Say “Restorative Reproductive Medicine,” not Alternatives to IVF.
- IVF is increasingly discussed as a pro-life issue because so many embryos are destroyed in the procedures. When pro-life advocates try to encourage women to seek “alternatives to IVF,” the implication is that IVF is the norm. Instead, IVF isn’t really a treatment because it bypasses instead of restoring or fixing the reproductive system. There cannot be a typical and an alternative when the entire philosophy underpinning the two approaches to infertility are so different.
Language matters. With only minor tweaks, we can significantly match our hearts with our message and build a more life-affirming culture for all.
Editor's note: Pregnancy Help New publishes a variety of perspectives in commentary articles. Commentary author's views should not be assumed to represent either those of Pregnancy Help News or Heartbeat International or policies therein.
