Years ago, a long-time pro-lifer pointed out to me that the people we want to help don't always want to take our suggestions. They may not be at a place where they're ready to take steps to improve their lives or do what we think will benefit them. It might be about going to church, not cohabitating, or abstinence. Whatever it is that we’re certain will be good for them, it can be frustrating when our experience, research, and even plain old common-sense points to some obvious steps that could be taken - but these fall on deaf ears.
Once in a while someone comes along who really wants to change her life. And sometimes that determination inspires others to act, and amazing things happen. That was the case with Denise, a woman found crying in her car in a Planned Parenthood parking lot.
She'd made an appointment for an abortion and was disgusted with herself for having done so. Previously married, she'd hoped to get pregnant for seven years, but it didn't happen, and she assumed she couldn't conceive. Then with a new boyfriend, it happened almost immediately. She was stunned, in disbelief, especially with being unsure about any future with the boyfriend.
"I always hated abortion,” Denise said. “I never understood how anyone could consider such a thing."
But here she was, feeling trapped.
Working five and sometimes six days a week in a hair salon, there would be no maternity leave. She had no savings and saw no way of taking time off from work to be home with a baby, no family around, and no way to afford daycare or a babysitter.
So that Saturday morning as she parked, hating herself for being in the situation, one member of a small group of people praying outside the fence approached Denise in her car.
She cracked her window and heard him say, "We can help you. Let me talk to you ... You're not going to get the full truth here..."
Mike saw that she was crying. He just kept talking and asked if she was willing to go a block up the street to a pregnancy center.
There, she learned, she could at least see her ultrasound and hear about possible ways to save her baby.
Mike brought Denise into the center. She looked exhausted and very stressed out, but she sat down with a warm, friendly woman who gave her a hug and a box of tissues.
Denise shared her situation and how she had no family in the area to help out in any way. The major pressure on her was financial, with no paid time off available to her. She worked part time in a hair salon and also cut hair in people's homes, often for elderly or sick people. While she had no benefits, she'd always paid taxes. She also went to church every Sunday and prayed regularly.
Denise spoke of her disappointment to have gotten to the point of being about to commit the serious sin of taking the life of her own child.
Through tears, she said, "What could be a worse sin than that?"
Denise was overwhelmed. Between the financial predicament and a boyfriend not thrilled about the pregnancy, she was confronted with the most serious decision she'd ever made.
When plastic fetal models were placed on the table before her, Denise leaned forward, fascinated. She'd never seen a picture or model of an unborn baby, and here these were at 7, 12, 24, 36 weeks.
Estimating she was about 9 weeks pregnant, she read the description of a 9-week unborn baby. She stopped crying and just stared.
Denise learned that her baby's heart had been beating for weeks. The potential physical and emotional ramifications of abortion were shared with her, along with the different types of assistance available to her and her child through the pregnancy center.
She and woman from the center discussed any other possible work she could do, such as babysitting for someone else's child to enable her to be home with her own child or working at a day care center. The topic of adoption came up.
Denise left the center that day with a referral for a free ultrasound the next day. The center women promised they would be praying for her and the baby, that God would present a way for Denise to continue her pregnancy.
Once again it was the ultrasound that closed the deal. Denise eliminated the abortion option, and now just shifted her focus to whether she could possibly raise this child herself, or should she find adoptive parents.
When she came in two weeks later for some maternity clothes, and a few more people helping out in the pregnancy center heard her story, one of them suggested taking up a small collection for her from among the center workers and a few friends.
Sure, the maternity clothes and baby things available to her would cut into her expenses, but what would really alleviate some of her stress was having at least a few hundred dollars saved for when she couldn't work.
Over the next week or two, the idea of a few people throwing in a few dollars spread. The group came up with a goal of $500.
Then someone suggested widening the fundraising by posting it on Give-Send-Go, an alternative to GoFundMe. We decided to keep it as a surprise for a Christmas gift for Denise.
Meanwhile, Denise was surprised to find a change of heart in her boyfriend, who became very supportive. He even agreed to start going to church with her, and the two prayed for God to be in their situation, to guide them to the best decision for them and their child.
Checking in with Denise one day, she mentioned that she so regretted even considering an abortion that she'd gone to Confession.
Having spoken to many women who've had 4, 5, 6 abortions and feel no sense of sorrow (at least not at that point), this genuine sorrow really stood out, and I was so moved I could hardly resist telling her about the fundraiser. Denise started looking into other jobs, especially ones she could do from home with a baby and was doing everything to make better decisions now.
This young woman was such an inspiration to many of us, seeing her desire to do the best thing after her mistake, a far better route than the far worse mistake of abortion.
Two weeks before Christmas we closed out the Give-Send-Go fundraiser at an astounding $2,350!
It was almost five times what we aimed to collect for her.
Tweet This: Once in a while someone comes along who really wants to change her life. And sometimes this inspires others to act and amazing things happen
Included along with many of the donations were beautiful prayers, including this one: "I'm asking my little angel in heaven to watch over your little angel!"
The anonymous donor didn't say if this was in reference to a deceased, aborted, or miscarried child - or maybe even another unborn child - but the love and encouragement meant so much when Denise read the words.
This fundraiser turned out to be easier than expected, with so many people happy and inspired by this young woman's doing everything possible to help herself and her child.
