During my walk the other day, a robin landed in front of me and dropped a fat earthworm on the sidewalk—a true sign that spring has returned.
This season of the year brings hope to mind.
Dry, leafless trees grow fresh buds. Brown grass turns green. Birds trill, ants swarm, and soon, many animals will bear their young for the year.
For those facing unplanned pregnancies, though, spring may not feel very hopeful at all. That positive test result may result in fear and anxiety.
In order for hope-filled people to impart hope to those who are hopeless, it’s critical that we operate in mercy and empathy.
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We can’t afford to come across with a happy-clappy, look-for-the-silver-lining approach when we minister to those who see abortion as the only solution to their dilemma.
I think of Jesus’s example when he faced the death of his friend Lazarus.
You might recall the story in John 11…a man from Bethany named Lazarus, whose sisters are Martha and Mary, becomes ill.
(Mary is the woman who anoints Jesus’ feet and dries them with her hair.)
The sisters send word to Jesus about Lazarus’ sickness.
Jesus makes a cryptic comment about this sickness being for the purpose of God’s glory. Then John makes this significant statement:
“Jesus loved Martha, her sister, and Lazarus.” –John 11:5
Yet, when he gets word of Lazarus’ illness, Jesus stays where He is for two more days before He heads out of town.
After discussing the dangers of going to Judea and explaining to His obtuse disciples that Lazarus has died, Jesus journeys to Bethany and meets Martha outside the house, where the grieving sister has a significant conversation with Him about eternal life.
After making a stunning confession of Jesus as the Messiah, Martha fetches her sister.
Mary falls at Jesus’ feet and repeats what Martha had said—that Lazarus would not have died if Jesus had arrived sooner.
“When Jesus saw her crying and the Jews who had come with her crying also, he was deeply disturbed and troubled.” -John 11:33
He asks where Lazarus has been laid—and then we read that famous verse,
“Jesus began to cry.” –John 11:35
When He gets to the tomb, again, He is deeply disturbed. Then He tells them to move the stone from the entrance.
Ever practical, Martha points out that the smell will be bad by now. Jesus reminds her to believe.
He prays, then calls to the dead man—and Lazarus walks out of his tomb.
Jesus knew prophetically that Lazarus would die. He also knew He would bring him back from the tomb.
This whole situation was a huge exercise in faith—for the disciples, for Martha and Mary, and for others who witnessed what happened and then believed.
Just as Jesus said, Lazarus’ sickness ultimately brought glory to God.
He knew the outcome would be far more glorious than the sisters or His disciples could have imagined.
Why didn’t He waltz into the situation with confidence and a big smile, assuring everyone that all would be well?
So why did Jesus cry?
Because Jesus loved Martha, her sister, and Lazarus—and when we love someone, we empathize with them.
We don’t throw platitudes at them. We don’t stay at emotional arm’s length. We don’t try to force them to cheer up.
Instead, we are “happy with those who are happy, and cry with those who are crying.” –Rom. 12:15
Brené Brown shares excellent insights on how empathy fuels connection.
When we empathize, we enter the other person’s world. We don’t try to fix them. We suffer with them.
Jesus entered the depths of the pain of loss that His friends Martha and Mary were experiencing.
What that kind of solidarity means in the world of pregnancy help ministry is this: we treat each scared pregnant young woman as if she were the first one we’ve ever helped.
Yes, we realize that her parents likely won’t “kill her.”
We’ve seen time and time again how the parents of a girl in an unplanned pregnancy have adjusted and become their daughter’s allies.
We know that her life is not over—that she can gain an education or a decent job while raising a child.
We know she’ll get through this. We have confidence in her abilities, and more than that, in God’s care for her.
But we still follow the model of Jesus—and He didn’t coach or cheerlead Martha and Mary. That’s not what His friends needed.
They were mourning, and they needed empathy.
No matter how long we’ve been at this work, let’s never lose sight of the power of empathy. Let’s resist the shortcut of pointing out the answers before we have identified with the hurting person sitting in front of us.
Let’s be willing to invest ourselves emotionally in the work we do.
Let’s be like Jesus.
