Amy Garner had a wonderful life until one horrific night in college when she was sexually assaulted.
Everything dove into a sudden tailspin afterward. And that led her to make a life-changing, life-ending, decision.
But through death would come a sense of rebirth—and a chance to help countless women like her.
Three years later, the tailspin showed no signs of slowing. And then she found out she was pregnant, this time with a separate, consensual partner.
Something internally told her she needed to take a pregnancy test. She did and it turned out positive. Still traumatized from the assault, she wasn’t thinking clearly, she recalls, and made an appointment at a local abortion center.
A nurse at the abortion facility performed an ultrasound, telling Amy the life inside her was nothing more than “just a clump of cells.”
Amy agreed to the abortion.
And with that, the tiny light inside her went out.
“I woke up in the recovery room and immediately burst into tears,” Amy said. “I cried for quite a while as the realization of what I had done sunk in.”
She felt shrouded in darkness for the following decade.
“I felt like I couldn’t shake death off of me,” Amy said, “like it would follow me around for the rest of my life.”
“I felt like a monster and completely unworthy to be alive,” she shared. “The cycle of anxiety and depression were a loop I could not escape.”
Amy had grown up in a Christian household with “amazing parents.” In fact, she grew to become a children’s minister. And it would be her faith in Jesus Christ that eventually helped her climb out of the emotional pit she was in.
Amy realized others needed to be shown this path. And further examination revealed that it could be more clearly outlined among churches.
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This led to her joining up with Milka Nier to create “Healed by Grace,” an organization designed to unite post-abortive women in a sisterhood across denominational, organizational, and state lines.
“We are seeking to be a voice for healing for hurting post-abortive women,” Amy said. “Most women we meet never knew healing was available. Our churches need to support the hurting men and women who are still living with the wounds of abortion.”
For every person that experiences healing, hundreds more still hurt, she said.
“We believe that fighting for the next generation while calling attention to the healing available in Christ Jesus is the answer to ending abortion,” Amy said. “Healed men and women tell their stories, and our stories are powerful because they are truth.”
She urges people to ask their church leaders if they offer abortion healing services. If not, she hopes they will connect their churches with organizations specializing in those journeys.
“There is a reason why the post-abortive do not come forward in many of our churches,” she said.
“Safety has to be created around this issue, and that means talking about it,” said Amy. “We need to add abortion healing to the conversation in every church.”
According to Lifeway Research:
• 70% of women who have abortions identify as Christian
• 43% of women are attending church two or more times a month at the time of their abortion.
• A little bit more than half (51%) don’t believe churches have a program prepared to discuss options during an unplanned pregnancy.
• Only 7% of women surveyed who had abortions said they directly spoke with someone in their church about their decision.
• About three in four women (76%), local churches had no influence on their decision.
Amy and Milka are working to change some of these statistics through Healed by Grace.
Amy believes men need to be brought into abortion education just as much as women. She says every woman she’s worked with since 2016 has fallen into one of three categories:
• They have experienced sexual trauma (rape or molestation)
• They had a forced abortion (coerced by parent, partner, or abuser)
• They had an irrational fear of their earthly father
“The role of the father in the home and the prevalence of abortion is astonishing,” she said.
“If a young girl’s father is abusive, has an anger management issue, addicted to substances, or is nonexistent in her life (coming in and out), she could very well be abortion vulnerable,” she continued. “I have found this correlation to speak volumes about the importance of the father and his role in the family.”
At the end of the day, post-abortive women and men are in severe need of healing. And to prevent more from falling into this need to begin with, it is vital to end the narrative that abortion is healthcare, she said.
“This is where the voices of post-abortive women who have suffered from the wounds of abortion are becoming critical in this fight,” Amy said. “Abortion is not healthcare. It is physical, emotional, and spiritual trauma.”
Visit Healed by Grace to learn more.
