(Celebrate Life) It has been said that love doesn’t know how to divide, it knows only how to multiply. Nowhere is that more evident than in the home of Kathleen and Ron Paydo.
Kathleen and Ron have been foster parents for most of their 35 years of marriage, and in addition to raising four children of their own, they have now fostered over 200 children. Throughout those years, they have seen atrocities that most people cannot even imagine, but the love and joy they have brought to children and their families is immeasurable.
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Beginnings
When Kathleen was a young girl, her parents took her to see the play Annie. The character of Miss Hannigan left such an impression on her that when they walked out of the theater, she told her father she wanted to someday open her own orphanage so that she could take proper care of the children who had no one to care for them.
As Kathleen grew into adulthood, this compassion for children remained. When she realized that orphanages are mostly a thing of the past in the US, she turned her sights to the foster-care system. After she and Ron married, she asked him what he thought about becoming foster parents, and he readily agreed. So before they even had children of their own, they began opening their home to children in need.
While some families foster children to eventually adopt them, the Paydos foster children in the hopes of either helping biological families reunite or finding children forever homes. Their goal is to strengthen families and to give them the tools necessary to reunify.
Tweet This: While some families foster children to eventually adopt them, the Paydos foster in hopes of reunifying or finding children forever homes.
Foster-care life
Life as a foster family is not always easy, especially when the parents have to try to undo the damage that has resulted from years of neglect or abuse. Through family discussions, fun playtime, educational toys, therapy, medical care, music, teachings about God, and more, Kathleen and Ron fill their foster children’s days with positivity, joy, laughter, and love. They know that many of the children have seen and endured unspeakable traumas, and they work every day to make their lives happier and healthier.
Kathleen has no shortage of stories about the children that she and Ron have fostered. In her book Fostering Love: A Glimpse into Foster Care, she tells many of these stories and introduces us to some of the children whom she has helped raise. This eye-opening book not only explores the love that permeates the Paydo household, it shows the crucial need for strong families to raise children.
The stories in the book range from heartbreaking to heartwarming. From physical and sexual abuse to neglect, the children who have come into their home have experienced terrible tragedies in their short lives. But Kathleen, who is a nurse by trade and who worked in a hospital setting for over 20 years, uses her medical training and years of experience as a mom to nurture these children as she and her husband help them feel safe and loved.
The Paydos have seen children with physical scars from abuse, children who suffered from skin ailments and rotting teeth, and siblings who were so dirty when they arrived at their house that they had to bathe them several times before the water in the tub stayed clear. The emotional scars are even more devastating. The couple has nurtured a set of siblings who were locked in a closet with a dead sibling. They fostered a five-month-old infant who had been strapped into her car seat with a bottle propped up in her mouth while her mother left her alone all night. And they have had to teach self-love to a little boy who routinely said “I’m bad.”
In addition, the Paydos have seen the devastation caused by fatherlessness—a void that Ron works every day to fill. He coaches sports teams and takes children to father/son and father/daughter events, even years after the children have left their house. And many of the children, now adults, call him for advice when faced with major decisions. Kathleen tells the story of a young boy who sadly told them that he did not have a father. Ron looked at him kindly and said, “Well, now you have a foster dad.” When the little boy asked, “Forever?” Ron assured him, “Yes, buddy, forever.” This type of interaction means the world to young children, and to this day, the two continue their special relationship.
This is just one of the many heartwarming stories Kathleen shares in her book. She also tells of a troubled teen who was only with the family for a few months but who never forgot her time with them. About 10 years after her placement with them, she called the Paydos to say that she was getting her life on track, that she had a job, and that the image of an intact family stayed with her all those years because that is what she hoped she would eventually have.
Kathleen also shares the story of a young boy with developmental delays whose mother worked hard to get him back. She gave up her vices, learned to take care of his needs, took parenting classes, and followed the case plan. Because of her diligence and determination, she and her son happily reunited.
The Paydos have created such a strong bond with many of their former foster children that they still keep in touch today. They create these bonds by teaching the children about the true meaning of family, through consistent and effective parenting, and with a tremendous amount of love.
The couple also makes sure that the children learn about the love of God, as many of them have never even heard about Him. They take the children to Mass, and every night at dinner the family prays together. Ron and Kathleen explain God’s mercy and forgiveness, and they teach children that not only are they loved by them, but they are loved by a God who has given His Son.
In addition, they teach about giving back to the community and helping others. When possible, the Paydos take the children to volunteer at events within the community. They want the children to know that even though they are little they can still do something to help others.
Kathleen imparts lessons like these in her latest book, entitled Parenting Love: Clever Ideas Learned from Raising 200 Children (released in June 2024). She explains that this book offers a boots-on-the-ground approach to parenting children of all abilities, including those with special needs. Both of Kathleen’s books are available in print and audio form at Amazon.
It takes a village
Being a foster parent is not a calling everyone can answer, but Kathleen explains that anyone can help the foster families in their communities. She says that she couldn’t do what she does without the people who help her, including her grown children, respite caregivers, and people who donate toys, diapers, or clothing. Kathleen happily tells of a pair of elderly sisters who shop at yard sales and purchase gently used toys and clothes to donate so that all the children who come into the Paydo home can have special items to call their own.
Kathleen explains, “Foster parenting is not like other professions; it is a behind-the-scenes commitment of the heart to give excellent care to someone else’s child, build them up to succeed, and teach them the importance of their role in society. Foster parents need to understand an unwritten code of honor that most foster parents abide by: Be more kind and giving than is expected and love deeper than you think is possible.”
While Kathleen has begun to focus on teaching communities about the need for foster care, she has no plans to give up fostering. With just under 400,000 children in the foster-care system and only about 214,000 foster families, she understands that the need is great.
In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus explains that at the end of our lives God will say to us, “Whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.”
Building a foundation of love and trust and molding children into people who will become well-adjusted adults are the reasons Ron and Kathleen have made it their life’s work to open their home to the least of these. They understand that there is nothing more comforting to a child than a warm, loving home, especially when that child has been standing out in the cold for so long.
For over three decades, Kathleen and Ron Paydo have lovingly built a culture of life within their community. They offer solace amidst heartbreak, provide stability and compassion to the neglected and battered, and offer love to children who desperately need it. This is the true meaning of serving as the hands and feet of Christ here on earth, and all who know them are blessed to witness firsthand the miracle that love truly does multiply.
Editor's note: This article was published by American Life League's Celebrate Life Magazine and is reprinted with permission.
