Lauren walked into the spacious and well-lit waiting room of her OB-GYN. The receptionist handed her the infamous brown clipboard, with the tedious multi-page new patient form. One of those questions stirred some confusing feelings, and painful memories; Have you ever been pregnant?
Lauren experienced two abortions and was unable to conceive again due to complications from the procedures. Yet, she responded - “No.” This is the denial lived by millions of women and men who have experienced surgical or chemical abortion.
After Lauren attended an emotional and spiritual healing program for abortion loss, something changed.
“The program gently allowed me to lower my defenses, built up over many years, and heal from the spiritual and emotional wounds I experienced from my abortions,” she said.
When it came time for her next OB-GYN appointment, she thought to herself, “this time, it’s going to be different.”
In the process of her evaluation, Lauren told the physician, “There is something very important in my medical history that should be added to my records.”
She went on to share with the doctor about her two abortions, and that due to complications from the procedure, she was unable to have additional children. Lauren shared some of the common emotional and physical challenges many women suffer after the procedure, especially those women who feel a sense of pressure from others to abort, and a lack of social and material support to continue their pregnancy.
“The doctor looked at me with compassion, but she did appear bit taken aback,” Lauren recalled. “She agreed to add it to my records. I was pleased when she told me, ‘In the future, if a patient shares with me a history of abortion, I will be sure to ask them how they are doing emotionally.’”
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Lauren gave some pamphlets and contact info to the doctor for anyone looking for emotional and spiritual healing after experiencing an abortion loss.
April is Abortion Recovery Awareness Month, which presents an opportunity, like Lauren’s encounter with her physician, to respond to the common misconceptions, and misinformation about women’s experience of abortion.
David C. Reardon, Ph.D., is widely recognized as one of the leading experts on the aftereffects of pregnancy loss on women. In a recent report, Dr. Reardon shares the results from a national research study of American women.
Pro-abortion apologists suggest that for the majority of women, the overwhelming post-abortion feeling is relief. Yet, Dr. Reardon’s research reveals that when considering all women with a history of abortion together, emotions such as grief, guilt, shame, depression, and regret were more prevalent and dominant than relief.
Two key factors in negative outcomes after abortion can be found in Dr. Reardon’s Unwanted Abortion studies:
- About one-third of women described their abortions as wanted and consistent with their values and preferences. However, the majority of respondents, two-thirds of women, experienced their abortion decision as a violation of or inconsistent with their own values and preferences.
- Sixty percent reported they would have preferred to give birth if they had received more support from others and/or had more financial security.
- Sixty-one percent reported experiencing a high level of pressure to abort.
Deborah found that she was pregnant at age 17. Her boyfriend thought abortion was the best option. She went to Planned Parenthood for assistance, and experienced the manipulation and exploitation commonly used to pressure women to see abortion as the only possible solution to their unplanned pregnancy.
“When I went to Planned Parenthood, the worker there told me that I wouldn’t be aborting a baby, because it was nothing more than a blob of cells,” Deborah said. “She then told me that I would have to forget about school if I decided not to have an abortion. I scheduled the appointment.”
Tragically, a failure to find emotional and spiritual healing after an abortion that features coercion, and pressure to abort, often leads to symptoms after the procedure that, over time, result in additional unplanned pregnancies, and repeat abortions.
A couple of years later, Deborah found herself facing another unplanned pregnancy and scheduled another abortion.
“As time went on after the abortions, I tried to hide my shame,” she said. “There were physical aspects from the abortion that were bothersome, but nothing like the shame from having an abortion, and the guilt for both the abortion, and the lies I had to tell to get it.”
Tweet This: Two-thirds of women in a study experienced their abortion decision as a violation of or inconsistent with their own values and preferences.
Without healing, women and men have to live those lies of denial, separated from the truth of what was lost, and far from the path to healing.
Abortion Recovery Awareness Month provides an opportunity to counter this darkness with the light of truth - a truth that brings reconciliation, and peace.
For more information about abortion healing resources in your community, visit AbortionForgiveness.com.
Editor’s note: Theresa Burke, Ph.D., and Kevin Burke, MSS, are pastoral associates with Priests for Life and co-founders of Rachel’s Vineyard. This article is a Pregnancy Help News original.
