An unexpected pregnancy can cause women panic and confusion, and many times they will feel abortion is their only option, because they think they have no support.
Pregnancy help often makes the difference when a woman is conflicted about choosing life.
As a college student, Jean (a pseudonym) found out she was pregnant at four weeks. Feeling unprepared and scared, she searched for direction and started out with an appointment at Planned Parenthood.
“I went to Planned Parenthood when I was about 5 weeks,” Jean told Pregnancy Help News.
“They did an ultrasound, nothing really showed yet,” she said. “They wanted me to come back in a week. My OB/GYN couldn’t see me until I was 9 weeks.”
“My son’s father heavily encouraged me to go the abortion route, saying this was the best option for both of us,” she said.
He told her would he not be around for the child because he wanted to move out of state, bit offered to send a support check every month.
Jean reflected on those Planned Parenthood appointments.
“Every time I went to Planned Parenthood something in me just didn’t feel right,” she said.
Jean remembers it wasn’t the most welcoming environment, and having an internal feeling that it just wasn’t right, and she just shouldn’t be there.
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The baby’s father did go to the Planned Parenthood appointment at five weeks and after that, Jean said, he never encouraged her to choose life.
The following week Jean had another ultrasound.
They told her it was not an ectopic pregnancy, and it was one baby, Jean recalled.
She then asked if she could see the ultrasound.
“They responded, ‘We typically don’t do this, but I’ll let you see it,’” Jean said.
“They didn’t say why they don’t,” said Jean, “but I found that interesting that they did seem a little hesitant about letting me see.”
Planned Parenthood offered Jean the abortion pill that day. She told them, “I need more time. I don’t feel ready.”
Jean had envisioned for herself having a family, but with her partner not wanting her to choose life, the pressure made it very difficult to move forward with what she truly desired.
“That day when I pulled out of Planned Parenthood there was a huge life-size Jesus statue across the street that was not there the week prior,” Jean said.
“I knew that was my sign because I grew up in a faith-filled family and I was praying, ‘I need a sign, I’m very scared,’” she said. “I think that was a huge sign that pushed me in the direction to choose life, like it’s going to be okay.”
At that point Jean knew she wanted to choose life, now she just needed the support to move forward. The she found New Hope Family Services.
“A family friend referred me to New Hope,” she said, and she was put in touch with a client advocate.
“They’re awesome there,” said Jean. “So, when I was seven weeks, I went to New Hope, and I was assigned a client advocate, and she was amazing.”
“It’s a very welcoming environment,” Jean said, “and they prayed with me, and they asked if I wanted to do an ultrasound.”
Jean was delighted to see the screen was turned toward her the whole time.
“Nothing was blocked off for you to see,” she said.
Jean was then thrilled to also hear her son’s heartbeat.
“I think that’s what made it real for me,” she said. “That there was a real life inside of me. It gave me a lot of hope and encouragement to go through this.”
Jean’s parents were also encouraging her to choose life.
From this time forward Jean knew she could do this. Support was the key.
She was hired as a full-time teacher just 14 weeks after her son’s birth.
“I wish I could back and tell myself, ‘It’s gonna be okay, it’s not the end of your life,’” Jean said.
After the initial New Hope appointment Jean let her son’s father know she was choosing life. He did accompany her to some appointments later in her pregnancy and stayed with her for the first three weeks following their son’s birth before moving out of state, but the level of support was minimal.
Jean’s son was born in February 2022.
“It was so amazing holding him for the first time,” she recalled.
After her son’s first year, Jean was served papers; the boy’s father wanted him half-time where he resided four states away.
Because abortion is legal, neither the fact that her son’s father had initially pressured Jean to abort their child nor his deciding to move away after she chose life for their son would not have bearing in the case.
“The judge ruled that for a one-year-old child it would be appropriate for the child to spend one week a month with his father,” Jean said.
After Jean fought to give her son life, she now has to part with him 25% of the time.
Her son’s father takes a flight every month and brings the boy to his home for the week, and then flies him back after the week. Jean said this has been difficult.
This has caused stress and transition issues for her son, she said, but her hands are tied.
However, Jean presses on to make the best life for her son that she can.
“I’ve been making the best of it being here for my son,” he said. “Doing all I can to provide that routine and consistency.”
She loves seeing the world as witnessed by her son.
“I enjoy experiencing the world through his eyes,” Jean said. “As a parent it helped me to watch him experience life from the second he was born, and each stage of development.”
Being there with her son through all these new experiences, even albeit not 100% of the time, has helped her to see what really matters in life and appreciate the little things more.
Despite her circumstances, Jean offers encouragement to other women facing unplanned pregnancy.
“Going through an unexpected pregnancy, it’s going to be okay,” she said.
“Really think about your future before you make a rash decision,” said Jean. “Just know that sometimes it is a difficult ride, but it is all worth it. You won’t regret it. I cannot imagine my life any differently.”
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For those dealing with custody issues she advised to continue to provide stability and consistency for your child.
“Having that one parent that’s providing that consistency makes all the difference,” she said. “Just hang in there. I know it is tough and it is difficult, but just control what you can, do the best you can with the time that you have with your child.”
Jean sees New Hope Family Services as a light in dark times. They helped her experience the wonderful journey of motherhood. She referred to the pregnancy help center as, “A judgment-free zone, regardless of your age or circumstances.”
Jean continues to see the blessings of motherhood despite the difficulty she has faced, and she called it all, “A wonderful journey that makes you strong.”
