A mom who went from the trauma of abortion to the blessing of choosing life is grateful for the transformation she experienced with the support of a pregnancy help center.
Evalynn was born to a crack-addicted, alcoholic mother with whom she lived until she was nine. She would never meet her father. At 10 she was formally removed from her mother’s custody.
Overcoming abuse and neglect, Evalynn earned a full ride scholarship to college and was motivated to rewrite the script from her traumatic childhood.
But before college at age 17, Evalynn attempted suicide. She was placed in a girls’ home for a few days and beat back the darkness that threatened her life.
“Even so, I started my own journey of learning the hard way,” Evalynn recalled. “I began a life of destruction and trying to find love in all of the wrong places.”
In college she submerged herself in the partying scene.
“The more I drank, the more promiscuous I became,” Evalynn said.
After getting pregnant she feared she would repeat the cycle of poverty that her mother did.
“And I didn’t want to be the kind of mom my mom was to me,” she said.
Evalynn thought abortion was the answer to not becoming a statistic.
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Her first abortion was a suction aspiration procedure. Evalynn didn’t have any anesthesia because she couldn’t afford the extra cost. She recalled the pain was so severe it made her nauseous. However, the emotional toll is what Evalynn carried with her.
“The guilt of that first abortion hung over my head for so long,” she said. “It drove me into a deeper, darker lifestyle over the years. I never got rid of that guilt.”
Evalynn failed out of college, returned home, and tried to find odd jobs. But the wounds she carried needed to be healed and partying remained her lifestyle.
She got involved with a guy who was selling drugs and became pregnant.
An ultimatum to the child’s father to give up dealing drugs and make their life together work was not successful, and Evalynn was once again at an abortion center for a second suction aspiration abortion without anesthesia.
“I had my second abortion at 24 and I almost died because the procedure was not done correctly,” Evalynn recalled. “I started running a fever three days later and I had to have an emergency D&C. Those two abortions are one of the most traumatic events I have experienced in my life.”
Evalynn faced the lonely reality of having emergency surgery to correct a botched abortion with no one to support her. Coming out of surgery she was not allowed to go home because she was alone, having driven herself to the hospital.
“Honestly at this point in my life, I remembered thinking that I almost didn’t care if I died,” she said.
The relationship ended, “Because I couldn’t forgive myself,” Evalynn recalled, “I couldn’t forgive the baby’s father.”
She moved on, homeless, she ended up living out of her car.
The wounds of her abortions bled over into every aspect of her life.
Drinking and promiscuity increased until she found herself involved in what she describes as high-end prostitution. Money was her god. Owning two Mercedes, indulging herself with designer fashion goods and owning a house became her faux life of success.
“I thought having money would be the answer to all my problems and I had to find out the hard way that it wasn’t,” Evalynn explained.
At 27 she would again be pregnant – but this would be the beginning of a turning point.
Evalynn went to a pregnancy help center and confirmed her pregnancy.
Realizing her first two abortions solved nothing, she decided to keep her child, her son Josiah, and try to change her life for the better.
But Evalynn continued with choices that changed neither her circumstances nor her. Once again at age 30 she was unmarried and pregnant.
“I had been on a destructive path of alcoholism, promiscuity, and many other things,” Evalynn said. “I was already a single mother of a three-year-old and I was attempting to finish my bachelor’s degree.”
With no clue how she would support herself and two children and finish college, Evalynn turned to the father of the baby, who wanted her to have an abortion. This meant she had no one to turn to for support.
Planned Parenthood couldn’t get her in for a couple of weeks. So, she started calling abortion facilities clinics within a three-hour radius. It was Friday, and there was a center offering to get her in on Monday for an abortion pill consultation.
Evalynn felt desperate thinking about facing another abortion after the two horrific experiences she had previously. She thought she would return to a pregnancy center for a free ultrasound.
It was late in the day and most pregnancy centers wouldn’t have an ultrasound technician in the office, but one center in another town did, and the staff was willing wait for her to drive the hour to their office.
“They saved my son’s life - and they saved my life,” Evalynn she said, weeping. “All because of an hour of their time that they were willing to sacrifice.”
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“I didn’t know if I was going to have an abortion or keep the baby,” she recalled. “When I got the ultrasound at the women’s center it changed my entire life.”
The Women's Centers of Ohio is where Evalynn went for that ultrasound.
Like the thousands of other pro-life help organizations around the world, this center supported Evalynn in the process of making her decision. Their offering real options and meeting practical needs for Evalynn became a defining moment for her and her children.
“The ultrasound made the pregnancy so real,” she said. “And I knew I did not want to abort my baby.”
“I decided to choose LIFE for my baby,” she exclaimed. “And little did I know, when I chose LIFE for my baby, I was choosing LIFE for myself too!”
Two months after Evalynn chose life for her unborn child, she surrendered her life to Jesus Christ.
The transformation was dramatic. Evalynn gave up the trappings of seeking things she didn’t need and accepted Section 8 housing (for single parents going to college) as part of getting herself and her sons’ lives on track.
“Fast forward to the present day, baby Hezekiah is a year-old, and our life has been absolutely everything I have ever dreamed of!” Evalynn said. “On August 5, 2022, I graduated with my bachelor’s degree from the University of Cincinnati and on August 13, 2022, I got married!”
“The abortions didn’t fix or change anything,” she said when asked what she would tell her younger self.
“It made life more difficult to navigate and it cost me two of my children,” said Evalynn.
“It’s like digging deeper into the wound when you have an abortion,” she added. “I didn’t heal from the first one and then I did it again. All the things I was trying to prevent I did anyway. I was choosing death.”
Now Evalynn dismisses the abortion lobby’s claim that women need abortion to succeed.
“In this age, the world tells women, that to be happy and to have a successful life we must abort our unborn babies,” she said. “That is the furthest thing from the truth!
“I have never lived a life that is so fulfilled physically, mentally, and spiritually,” Evalynn said of motherhood. “God used this baby’s life to save mine and I am forever grateful!”
Today everything about Evalynn’s life revolves around honoring God.
“I don’t know who I would be or where I would be without this child and the love and grace of God,” she said. “Choosing life gives you life.”
