Infanticide, infant abandonment - words that evoke profound emotion.
Clinical psychologist Dr. Andrea Corn explains how her role has been to help people understand the psychological make-up of the mother to then provide the help and care she needs – to walk in her shoes.
“A Safe Haven for Newborns does just that,” Corn said. “It saves the baby’s life and the mother’s as well.”
Since 2001, founder and director Nick Silverio has worked tirelessly to save the lives of newborn infants from abandonment and their mothers from both the legal and psychological ramifications of abandoning their child through the Florida non-profit Gloria M. Silverio Foundation: A Safe Haven for Newborns.
Corn explained that there are varying scenarios beyond a person’s control that lead to unplanned pregnancy, but it is also important to rejoice with the child conceived.
“We must celebrate life wherever we can,” she said.
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“A Safe Haven for Newborns is dedicated to reaching pregnant girls and mothers before they reach the crisis stage,” Silverio said. “We believed from the beginning that if we saved only one life, it would be worthwhile.”
Corn cited the many pressures a woman may experience to become distraught with a pregnancy: religion, age, family, culture, society, economics, shame, guilt, fear, ostracization.
“It’s a shock to the body,” she said, “and women don’t want to believe what happened – happened. So, they develop defense mechanisms.”
“Some women are isolated or uneducated or in denial,” Corn said. “They can’t accept the realization of the pregnancy. They may have suffered their own abandonment by family. What they are living with – their pregnancy - is tormenting them. It’s a primitive defense mechanism – because it’s an unacceptable situation, they have to create a barrier.”
“How can a woman live with this torment?” Corn asked. “They need acceptance, compassion, support.”
Silverio tells the story of a 19-year-old woman who went to a hospital in early labor. She told them she wanted the baby to go to A Safe Haven for Newborns, so Silverio was called and drove to the hospital to talk with the woman.
“We encourage the woman always to wait until the baby is born before making her final decision,” Silverio explained, “and even at that, they have 30 days after giving the baby to A Safe Haven to change their minds.”
“We help them in every way we can to keep their baby,” he said. “In this case, the woman said she was duped into the pregnancy, that she was estranged from her family who would shun her if she arrived with a baby.
The young woman worked a menial job that couldn’t support both her and her child and she was emotional.
“But very clear that she wanted the baby to be adopted,” Silverio said. “Little Vincent was born the next day and is thriving with his forever family.”
Corn explained additional defense mechanisms.
“They may withdraw into a world of fantasy,” she said. “They self-soothe, avoid shame through baggy clothes.
Dissociation is frequent, said Corn. There can be psychotic thoughts, causing unbearable distress.
“How does a woman survive this?” she asked. “They have to create a divide – they have no one to turn to and even abandon themselves.”
Silverio shared another story with a much different ending.
A baby was left at a fire station at 5 a.m., and the baby was transported to the hospital.
“I received a call later that day from the woman’s mother,” Silverio recounted. “‘My daughter and I were separated for some months,’ she said. ‘I faced her with the pregnancy and we talked. We want the baby back.’”
“They went to the hospital,” said Silverio. “The baby’s mother took a D.N.A. test to prove maternity and the baby was restored to its family.”
“These women – some as young as 13, need help,” Corn said. “They are fragile, alone, or they withdraw to be alone – they need help.”
If they have support, adoption becomes an option, Corn said, and by being able to surrender their baby to a fire station or hospital – they are told they can have help too.
All 50 states and several other countries have safe haven laws, offering mothers protection from prosecution for relinquishing their newborns in a safe manner at a designated Safe Haven facility.
Headquartered in Miami, A Safe Haven for Newborns serves all 67 Florida counties partnered with Florida fire departments, police, emergency medical services, hospitals, schools, and several other agencies to eradicate the potential for infant abandonment and help mothers in crisis.
A Safe Haven for Newborns has a 24/7 confidential and multilingual helpline that assists mothers seeking the safe haven option, pregnant mothers, and mothers in any kind of crisis. They have assisted more than 6000 mothers in need and 370 safe haven babies and their forever families and have done so at no cost.
Gloria Hope was the very first A Safe Haven for Newborns baby.
Today, she is a college sophomore, serves as an ambassador for the organization that saved her life and has provided an excerpt of a letter her birth mother wrote at her birth:
“My Dearest, The first thing I know you are wondering is Why? Why? Because I love you. It might sound strange at first, but this is true. Darling, I want to give you the World but I can’t so I’m hoping by doing this – placing you in Safe Haven you will be given the world. You see I myself was adopted at birth. Ever since I was little, I’ve known I was adopted and dearly loved. The moment you were placed in my arms I fell in love with you. I am so thankful to the team at A Safe Haven for Newborns. I had called them for help and guidance. They were so kind and non-judgmental. I have loved you my little one since I found out you were in my tummy and I will love you forever.”
For more information, visit the website: www.asafehavenfornewborns.com. The A Safe Haven for Newborns national hotline is 844-767-2229, and for within Florida it is 877-767-2229.
Editor’s note: Laura Dodson writes from Florida.
