What can I say to a person who is angry, withdrawn, hopeless, in crisis, confused, or obstinate?

How can I discuss and resolve problems in a way that preserves relationships and is consistent with my Christian values?

In this story, Michael, Mariana, Katy, and Josh learn The L.O.V.E. Approach. You “listen” as they use it with people they care about. Finally, you discover what has changed in their personal lives as a result. In this book, you can also practice the 4 steps and see for yourself how transformational they can be – Listen and Learn, Open Options, introduce a new Vision and Value, and Extend and Empower!


Personal Note from the Author

In 1994, I developed The LOVE Approach to explain how Christ-centered pregnancy help center volunteers can build relationships with women facing difficult pregnancies and help them resolve issues and problems in a life-affirming way. It has been in continuous use around the world, taught by Heartbeat International since then (person to person and now on-line).

It was originally inspired by the lessons I learned from painful experience, the hard way, as a young wife, mother, and passionate Christian volunteer, almost 50 years ago. Now I offer the four steps to you and the larger Christian community in the expectation that you will also find them powerful in your own relationships and ministries. 

God bless you as you learn The LOVE Approach and put it to life-changing work in your life and with the lives you care about! 

- Dr. Peggy Hartshorn

  • "Relationship challenges can leave many of us at a loss – how can we fix problems between ourselves and our spouse, within our families, or with other members of the Body of Christ? The L.O.V.E. Approach gives readers a time-tested, biblically-based tool that can turn
    difficult relationships around."

    - JIM DALY, President, Focus on the Family

  • "This gem of a book, written in parable form, makes good on its promise! Peggy Hartshorn offers readers a path that makes relationships happier, restores broken ones, and builds new ones on the solid foundation of trust. It has blessed me abundantly!"

    - JOHNNETTE BENKOVIC WILLIAMS, EWTN Television and Radio Host

  • "Dr. Peggy’s L.O.V.E. Approach is a lifesaver; love never fails."

    - EVANGELIST ALVEDA C. KING, Civil Rights for the Unborn

  • "There is nobody on earth who does not need what’s in this book. The L.O.V.E. Approach can change your life. Accept the challenge that your problems don’t have to remain as they are."

    - FR. FRANK PAVONE, National Director, Priests for Life

How to Use this Book

Narrative chapters demonstrate the foundational basis for The LOVE Approach and how to use each step -- L (Listen and Learn), O (Open Options), V (Vision and Value), and E (Extend and Empower), plus they show each of the characters using the steps in a real-life situation.   

These chapters are interspersed with others that offer practice for each step (including space for personal reflection and questions and answer).

You can read and practice on your own, but it’s even better to have one or more partners working with you so you can share your responses and learn from each other, just like Michael, Mariana, Katy, and Joshua do in the narrative chapters.

This book makes a perfect tool for individuals, couples, families, small groups, ministries, and churches. It can be used, for example, by one couple or within a family, in informal book clubs, couples’ support groups, small group ministries, women’s or men’s groups, home-based ministries, study groups, or as the text evening retreat sessions or weekend retreats (for couples, families, or church staffs and ministry teams). It can be the basis of a training in The LOVE Approach for any church or faith-based group.


Peggy1Dr. Peggy Hartshorn discerned the 4 steps she calls The L.O.V.E. Approach through her own struggles to be a better Christian wife, mother, teacher, friend, peer counselor, and leader.  In writing this book, Peggy, a retired college Professor, joins her expertise in education and communications with her heart for strong relationships and unity, especially within the Body of Christ. 

Peggy served as President of Heartbeat International for 23 years, where The L.O.V.E. Approach has proven its effectiveness as a relationship-building and problem-solving tool in pregnancy help organizations worldwide.  She hopes that these 4 powerful steps will now bless your relationships as they have hers.